


Exodus 2.0

by Carmila



Category: Elisabeth - Levay/Kunze, Takarazuka Revue RPF
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-31
Updated: 2014-03-31
Packaged: 2018-01-17 17:56:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,097
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1397140
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Carmila/pseuds/Carmila
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>You learn as long as you live.<br/>Lucheni had come to see this as true, and by now he was sure that it even counted for God. The old man, or woman, whatever that being was, had come a long, long way since the days of rivers of blood and frogs, that was for certain. There were new, improved versions of the plagues the old Egyptians had had to face, and Lucheni would have given anything to be in their place. He could deal with bloody rivers, and he surely wouldn't have minded getting rid of the frogs, but there was no competing with the demons of the new age.<br/>Especially not with videogames, make-up, and that abomination called pop music. It was the ten plagues reloaded, and they had gotten 'better graphics and a new, enhanced gameplay.“</p>
            </blockquote>





	Exodus 2.0

You learn as long as you live.  
Lucheni had come to see this as true, and by now he was sure that it even counted for God. The old man, or woman, whatever that being was, had come a long, long way since the days of rivers of blood and frogs, that was for certain. There were new, improved versions of the plagues the old Egyptians had had to face, and Lucheni would have given anything to be in their place. He could deal with bloody rivers, and he surely wouldn't have minded getting rid of the frogs, but there was no competing with the demons of the new age.  
Especially not with videogames, make-up, and that abomination called pop music. It was the ten plagues reloaded, and they had gotten 'better graphics and a new, enhanced gameplay.“  
He might have stolen that phrase from that god damn box that was lying on the table in front of him, but really, nobody could blame him for borrowing a sentence after he had been staring at that damn thing for an hour, trying to figure out wether he was shaking, or wether the floor was vibrating.  
It was most probably a combination of both, with the loud music blasting from the living room and the constant sound of jumping. Whoever had invented this bloody fucking game called Dance Dance Revolution deserved to be shot, and Lucheni would have glady done it, even if he suspected someone else had done that job for him already. And surely Lucifer had been right there to offer that damn asshole a good deal for his soul, and now the dude was probably constructing torture devices for the fallen souls in hell that were almost as annoying as this thing.  
It took Lucheni a moment to realize that the blasting music and the jumping had stopped (he only realized because the DVD-case he had been staring at had stopped vibrating), and the brief moment of respite did not last long.  
„'Cheni! I need a hand here, could you come?“  
It probably said a lot for his state of mental fatigue that Lucheni did not really react to Ayaki's siren-like voice anymore, not even when it carried what human brains would have perceived as an amount of sexual innuendo. She probably just wanted to know wether Madonna or whatever that other plastic-looking female.... singer, for lack of a better word, was more annoying. And she would of course not accept a simple 'Both'.  
With a heavy sigh he floated upstairs, only to be greeted by a rather …. strange sight, even for this household. The three younger siblings were standing around a … plastic blanket on the floor, with several dots in different colors on it. That was, two of them were standing, Sena looked as if he was only upright because Mizu had wrapped the hood that was attached to his top around his hand, and the youngest Tod would probably start to suffocate if he tried to break away. There had been a time when Lucheni would have been worried by the fact that Sena looked as if he hadn't slept for weeks or someone had punched him in both eyes, but he knew it was just make-up. Looking like a hangover racoon was obviously 'in', he didn't try to keep up with that anymore.  
Sena also didn't struggle, probably because he knew that Haruno would not come to help him. The oldest brother had fallen victim to the worst modern plague of all, the internet. From what Lucheni had heard, it seemed to allow access to a plethora of information without getting up from the couch even, basically the brothel of knowledge incarnate. In Lucheni's opinion, a man who had started going to a brothel would only stop if forced, and none of them had the means to force Haruno. Even if it was only a virtual brothel, his hypothesis had proven correct so far, and thus Lucheni believed the internet to be the worst of all biblical plagues 2.0. Said plague also seemed to give Haruno the amazingly usefull ability to ignore the fact that his siblings had obviously tried to take the room apart just some metres away from him, even if Ayaki called it dancing. Lucheni disagreed. But they were quiet now, and that was all he could hope for, so he decided to play nice.  
„Yes, Ayaki, what is it?“  
„We need you to announce, it's boring when someone always has to interrupt to look, and Haruno isn't listening.“  
What else was new? If Haruno was listening, Ayaki could argue with him, and wouldn't be so bored that they had to put up with that dancing crap.  
„I don't mind announcing Ayaki, I can do it...“  
Little wussy. Sena was obviously trying to escape, but Mizu yanked him back by his hood, obviously rather pleased with the small, strangled cough he got.  
„You're playing, you pussy, don't even try to crawl on Haruno's lap to escape. 'S blocked anyway, Schrödinger was quicker than you. Be a man for once!“  
Oh damn. Mizu had a point there, since Schrödinger (the cat Haruno had brought along, and of which they still didn't know wether he was alive, or simply ignored that it was dead), basically lived on Haruno's lap now. But Mizu sounded rather... happily drunk, which explained why he had ganged up with Ayaki to torture Sena, obviously. This was his chance though, he shouldn't let it go to waste.  
„Announce...what? And what the heck are you playing?“  
„Twister!“  
With anyone else, Lucheni would have been puzzled why a storm of destructive force brought forth such a smile, but those were the Tods he was talking to, it probably made sense. „There was no twister in the news...“  
„Nooooooo! 'Cheni, Twister! It's a game! You say a limb and what color we have to put it on, you announce for us, I just told you!“  
Lucheni was momentarily distracted from whatever Ayaki was pointing at, he was distracted by the question how much plastic, glittery shit you could put on a normal nail, until he realized that Ayaki's nail also seemed to be made of plastic. He did not understand the modern world, and he least of all understood modern women. It looked more comfortable than the dresses back then, sure, but still fucking impractical.  
When he did look down though, he saw something that looked like a paper clock, divided in differently colored parts, and he could see the words 'left foot' 'left hand' 'right foot' and 'right hand'.  
„Cheni, it's easy. You just have to turn the hand, and tell us what limb belongs on which color, okay? You can do that, right?“  
Yes, yes he could. It was only paper, he should be able to move that thing with telekinesis, and by now he was happy enough with anything that would shut them up.  
  
„God damn it you little troll, be careful where you step wiht that stinkin' foot of yours!“  
„Other than your feet, mine are not stuck in boots all day, Mizu, you might be smelling your own! Ayaki, be careful with those damn claws of yours, you'll end up killing someone!“  
„Sena, I swear to god, if those damn skinny jeans of yours rip and I have to look at whatever is underneath them, I am headbanging you so hard in the face, I won't need my claws anymore!“  
„Sheesh, Ayaki, as if that'd be the first male ass you see..... Besides, Sena's pants are so tight, I can tell what he's wearing anyway....“  
Nope. Lucheni did not get it. He did not get the appeal of this game, it seemed to consist of tying yourself into trantra-esque positions with people you couldn't stand while yelling insults and death threats at them. Perfect game for the Todlings, but he would not have liked playing it for sure. The music just made it worse, he had no bloody clue what a 'Caramelldansen' was, but he'd paid good money to choke the maker of this song with whatever it was. But at least he only had to announce the colors, and if he managed to ignore the fact that Mizu's spikey bracelets (If he couldn't wear a jacket with spikes he obviously had to compensate in other ways) were constantly about to make either his sister or his brother loose an eye, this could be a rather fun game, and maybe -  
„AYAKI! WHAT THE HELL IS THAT ON YOUR HIP?!“  
Emotions were a poweful thing when it came to ghosts, as Lucheni understood it, a poltergeist did all the damage he could do with just his mind, and panic seemed to be able to do what frustration and anger couldn't, because his outburst seemed to have killed the stereo, guessing from the sparks that were flying from it, and the burned smell.  
„Geeez, Cheni you partypooper, calm down. It's just a tattoo, even the lady you held the murderous affection for had one!“  
As if he hadn't seen that himself, it had been impossible to miss when that tiny thing she called a top had risen up. „Keep Elisabeth out of this right now, young lady! Where did that tattoo come from?!“  
„I went to a studio and had it done on the weekend, why?“  
Oh god. Oh god. He was more than just dead, he was like... super dead! No father ever took it positively when his daugher came home with a tattoo, and the master's reaction would probably have been to shoot and dump him in a crocodile infested river, but he was already dead! Lucheni didn't even want to think of what might be-  
He never got to finish that thought. A loud, desperate gulp for air, followed by coughing made both him and Ayaki turn their heads, just to see that Sena somehow had managed to land on top of Mizu when they had fallen after Lucheni's yell, and now his pointy knees were digging into Mizu's chest, right over the place where that ...creature on the punk's bandshirt had the eyes.  
„Sena, god damn it, get up from him!“  
No, this was surely not good, and Lucheni was sure that Sena knew that a normal, human ribcage could NOT shift to accomodate knees while still letting that person breathe, this had been payback from the little weasel!  
Seriously, Lucheni would have given anything to be able to pull Sena up to his feet, to yank him around a little, just so he could calm down a little before he dealt with Ayaki, but that was impossible. At least Sena got up, grudingly, but not without adding some additional pressure on the remaining kneee before he was back on his feet, if the way Mizu cringed and turned slightly blue was anything to go by.  
„Listen you two, I am really fed up with -“  
„Jeez, 'Cheni, you were totally overreacting! And you look what you did, you broke our stereo.... it's no fun without music, what are we supposed to do now?“  
Suddenly Lucheni found himself on the receiving end of three pairs of unsettling eyes, even that traitor Mizu had rolled around like a spikey baby seal, and those eyes demanded answers.  
The rescue came from a very, very unexpected side, from a voice they hadn't heard for aeons..... Okay, well, hadn't heard for days, but still. Haruno had finally taken his headphones off, and was watching them over the backrest of the couch, together with Schrödinger.  
„Humans are strange creatures....“  
Haruno sounded puzzled again, and Lucheni swallowed the hint that people who sat around at home in a pair of dress pants, a shirt and a matching vest were also either strange creatures or downright assholes, and decided to jump at the opportunity to get away from the 'you spoiled our fun, Luigi' topic.  
„Why are humans strange?“  
„Because they literally have access to all the knowledge in the world, and yet there are people who make ten hour long videos of a song called Caramelldansen.“  
Lucheni did not even have to turn around. He could hear the flames of war burn, the eternal cry for revenge was ringing in his ears. And he had been called to be the judge. He had to follow his calling.  
  
„Everyone ready....? Left foot yellow!“  
Sometimes, just sometimes, Lucheni could almost believe they were cute.  
„You damn bastard, keep your gouty paws to yourself or I'll bite them off!“  
One day. One day he would believe they were cute for sure.


End file.
